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Pith

Box Office

Yes, I chose Bush over Gore, but I thought the question was late-night cable.

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1 Min
By: Perry Slaughter
Pith

Illiteracy Campaign

Teach a child to read and that's just more royalties for Dr. Phil.

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1 Min
By: Perry Slaughter

Old Town

Walking around Old Town, waiting for █████'s Boston marathon training group meeting to let out, distressed at dearth of coffee shops that aren't Starbucks or Einstein Brothers. Met an 11-year-old, 60-pound wheaten terrier! Unhappily, realize I am prejudiced against people carrying Bibles. Also, old

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1 Min
By: William Shunn
Conventions

SC #49: The Scouring of the Shelves

In which Bill, in an outtake from THE ACCIDENTAL TERRORIST, recounts the fate of the modest vinyl collection he'd amassed before leaving on his mission. Also, freethought is vigorously defended, in the context of gay weddings and dying fathers.

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1 Min
By: William Shunn
Pith

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

I bought one.

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1 Min
By: Perry Slaughter
Pith

Refreshing

When life gives you lemons, extract the citric acid and spray it in life's eyes.

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1 Min
By: Perry Slaughter
Pith

Motion

It's not the size of the boat—it's the whammo of the ammo.

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1 Min
By: Perry Slaughter
Pith

Gee, Rocky

Squirrels rule the early morning streets. I have to pay a tribute of Cheetos just to retrieve my paper from the stoop unmolested. Damn those orange-pawed monsters!

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1 Min
By: Perry Slaughter
Pith

Jammed Keys

I have an intimate relationship with my typewriter. That makes it difficult to keep the roller clean.

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1 Min
By: Perry Slaughter
Pith

To Do

My life pretty much depends on making a to-do list, but I kept forgetting to put it on my to-do list.

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1 Min
By: Perry Slaughter
Pith

Eat Nothing but Potato Chips and Still Lose Weight!

I call it the Horse Latitudes Diet. It worked for me. Just limit yourself to two per day.

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1 Min
By: Perry Slaughter
Pith

Scars

It's no accident my voice sounds like this. It's takes a special kind of man to get a brand on his vocal cords.

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1 Min
By: Perry Slaughter

Showing 12 of 2931 total posts

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