Somehow, despite the fact that it played regularly at the Blue Mouse in Salt Lake City to midnight crowds, I managed to grow up without ever having seen the 1922 cult-classic exploitation flick Trapped by the Mormons, about scary Mormon elders with hypnotic eyes who lure nubile women into lives of sexual slavery.

But fate conspires to remedy this sad oversight. There's a remake! And it's coming to New York! Huzzah! Pay lay ale!