5 November 2013, Chicago, IL Dear Overlords at Munster Taverns: Let me preface this email by saying that Lady Gregory's is one of my favorite places in the world. This afternoon I ordered a Daisy Cutter with my burger. When my beer was close to the bottom, my
Dear Miz Manorz, I find myself flush with discomfort, and I hope you'll give my predicament a swirl. At my shared workspace, a sign over the privy clearly requests that writers of the male persuasion put the seat down when finished, yet at least one of my upstanding
█████ and I had dinner at one of our favorite local restaurants this evening, Hopleaf. It's a Belgian place, with a bar out front specializing in Belgian and Belgian-style beers. It's always packed, and if you don't show up early you can wait an hour
Rat carcass in alley this evening. Tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. Sad when you almost step in vermin, and the first panel of Watchmen is the thing that leaps to mind. At least I didn't skid
So, we came back late Sunday night from a weekend away to find another mouse snared by one of our traps. This one was in the pantry, and it had been sitting there untouched for a couple of months. I came in from bringing the last of the luggage from
Okay, for everyone who thought they did indeed want to see the flattened mouse, here you go. I guess it really isn't as flat as all that, but it's certainly flatter than a mouse should be. (There's a little blood in the picture, just
The other night, █████ and I were startled by screaming and running sounds from the apartment upstairs. I was up to my elbows in cleaning, so █████ investigated. Turns out the three roommates up there had spotted a mouse. And had named it Ernest. When our landlord started renovating the apartment upstairs
When you get back from a trip, check the mousetraps immediately. Don't wait a couple of days. I waited a couple of days. One of the mousetraps, way back underneath a large piece of furniture, was, ahem, occupied. It had flipped over in the process of snapping, and
I have a zit the size of Vesuvius growing on the side of my nose. Dogs snap and young children run in terror when they see it coming. If you don't want archæologists to find your perfectly-preserved, sebum-encased, fœtally-curled body 5,000 years from now in the ruins
People, always remember to check the paper situation before committing to a stall. I'm only sayin'.
So, for some weeks now, the slide latch on the inside of one of the two stalls in the men's room on the floor of the building where I work has been broken. The little knob that screwed into the tongue was prone to fall off, and then
I'm telling this story on LiveJournal now because █████ keeps asking me if I've told this story on LiveJournal yet. Now the answer can be yes. This was about three weeks ago, I guess. It was nine-thirty or so at night, and █████ and I were walking home
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