I'm delighted to say I can finally trump the stories we've swapped here about cell phones in men's room stalls. A few minutes ago I was contentedly ensconced in a stall, musing on the conundra of existence, when I heard the outer door open.

"Bill? Bill?" called the voice of a fellow employee.

Had something happened to my wife? "Uh, yeah?" I called back.

"I'm going out for coffee. Want coffee?"

I started laughing. It was all I could do. Eventually I managed to say "No," even though I did want coffee. Can't reward that kind of behavior, after all.