Is that expressed in Fig Newtons of force?

Hey, kids! Wondering why you should bother studying science and math? So you can work out the formula to describe the perfect bacon butty!

N = C + {f_b(c_m) · f_b(t_c)} + f_b(T_s) + f_c · t_a

Duh.

Tomorrow we'll derive a formula to determine how many licks it takes to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop.