I know you've all been waiting breathlessly for this, so here's my uncle's reply to my email from the other day about Muslim profiling and airport security:

I understand that you are a writer and perhaps tend toward the dramatic, but let's be real here. I don't know how you jumped to the conclusion that the comment of the person who originated the e-mail suggested not continuing the present pattern of screening. I didn't see that conclusion at all. The only suggestion I saw was to replace the benign, minimally effective "random" selection process with a more directed selection process.

I forwarded what I thought was some interesting historical facts. I made no comment on those facts, but since one is apparently needed, here goes.

Different from most of you, I have lived in countries where I was the racial "profilee". I am not sooo old that I have forgotten what being attacked and chased by mobs, taken at gunpoint from a public bus and jailed, being on a bus whose windows were broken out by flying rocks and molitoff cocktails just because I was obviously different felt like. I don't advocate that or any form of hate in the slightest. Anyone that knows me knows that I am totally blind to a persons sex, sexual orientation, race, color, religion, deficiencies or any other stereotyping other than bad manners. Everyone should be treated equally at least until they individually demonstrate that they don't deserve that treatment. Hate has no place anywhere. Caution and prudence does!

If it were up to me, everyone would be searched at airport security and other similar gathering sites exposed to terrorist threats. I don't know if you have flown recently, but what happens even to the "radomly selected" travelers I don't think qualifies as a search. No, I don't advocate singling people out because of their looks or supposed nationality, I think that we all should pay the price of the loss of a bit of dignity (perhaps) and freedom as the necessary cost of safety in these times.

I appreciate your desire to preserve what should be American values, rights, and attitudes. I support that and live that, especially having experienced the other first hand!

My uncle is referring in his email to his years as a Mormon missionary in Columbia in the early '70s. It should be pointed out that he is now an obstetrician in Mesa, Arizona, the whitest and most Mormon part of that state. He's a sweet, smart, funny man, though I find his children indistinguishable—which is not helped when they all wear the same outfits to family functions.

Anyway, my response:

I know this [my uncle's assertion of his tolerance] about you. Why do you think I was so startled to see that you had forwarded this email? I think it very clearly ridicules the idea of treating all citizens equally, and goes even further by citing ten "interesting historical facts" which I would instead call "specific reasons for feeling suspicion and even hatred toward Muslims." Through the rhetorical device of offering three obviously silly answers to each question, the writer of this email is trying to make readers feel dumb for suspecting that anyone *but* Muslims could be responsible for committing acts of terror.

I'm not questioning your tolerance and acceptance of your fellow man. I am questioning the underlying message of suspicion and hatred in that email, which is there whether you perceived it or not, and the wisdom of forwarding it without comment (which, you must understand, makes it sound like you endorse the contents). If you find my stance dramatic, then think about the Egyptian social club in my neighborhood that *was* smashed up on the night of September 11th by thugs brimming with just the kind of feelings that email promotes.

The biggest thing that disappointed me about my uncle's email, to be honest, was his implication that because I'm a writer my words are somehow less trustworthy than a more prosaic person's would be. A little dramatic? Always nice to know what the family really thinks of you.

Of course, that wasn't something to go into in this debate—it would only make me look more dramatic. I also avoided the temptation to start comparing our experiences of being a target for violence—I mean, I live in New York City. I saw the towers burning with my naked eyes, and I live now under the threat of more terrorist attacks, and I still don't favor profiling. And I didn't even think about bringing up the subject of why all the conservatives in the family think it's kosher to broadcast their tightassed views and get all defensive when someone dares to speak back. Really, I only do it in one case out of fifty. And I never send liberal propaganda back. (Maybe I should start.)

In any event, I'm disappointed, and I'm convinced that all I've done is make my relatives, all of them, think I'm even more of a bitter loose cannon. Jesus, just wait until I sell the memoir.